No night-time sugar tonight – again? What do you need to do to get romantic again in the relationship?
This is a rather common problem, with more than half of the entire population in the United Kingdom not having sex in a month. Naturally, the best cure is prevention but, seeming as though that ship has sailed, let us skip to doing it the hard way (pun intended!).
HOW TO DEAL WITH A SEXLESS RELATIONSHIP
TALK IT OUT
This might be more painful to men who do not get any because of their hurt pride, but also women get hurt by thinking they are no longer sexually appealing to their chosen mate. When in a suitable environment, the subject must be brought up in a respectful manner, with both parties taking the time to speak and listen in equal measure.
Here are the ten commandments for effective listening, as suggested by Herbert G. Lingren, in the article Listening– With Your Heart As Well As Your Ears in Stronger Marriage: I) Stop talking. II) Put the speaker at ease. III) Pay attention to the nonverbal language. IV) Listen for what is not said. V) Know exactly what the other person is saying. VI) Be aware of “tune out” words – words which appear in the media that strike an emotional chord. VII) Concentrate on “hidden” emotional messages. VIII) Be patient. Don’t interrupt the speaker. IX) Hold your temper! X) Empathize with the speaker.
HELP EACH OTHER – AND BE CONSISTENT WITH IT
When was the last time you offered to fill her tank up with fuel, fellas? Ladies, when was the last time you bought him something to help with his hobby? If your answer is the 3rd of never, you really ought to at least consider it. Having a support system at home increases intimacy; it shows that you care about all things in your partner’s head and heart. Reach out! Do not just sit there going through the motions, be there and stick at it. Here is a humdinger from Dehli’s Deepak Chopra: “Success comes when people act together; failure tends to happen alone.”
RECOVERY FROM THE PAIN
Plainly put, past pains powerfully place plight, passionately persuade partner positivity. You want it put another way? Of course you do. Alright then, let Chopra take the floor once more with another pearler: “Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.” Even if you have had the mother of all rows, always let the past pass through the system and move on in the relationship together. As we all know, like attracts like, therefore So say you are sorry, give your Winnie the Pooh a big bear hug, and get your hunny on!
REIGNITE THE PASSION
“No fire, no heat… no heat, no life. That’s, that’s the equation,” said Marlon Brando’s character, the pyschiatrist Dr. Jack Mickler in the movie Don Juan DeMarco. There are six ways to melt that ice, according to Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. in World of Psychology. They are: I) Engage in a new activity with your partner. II) Add the element of mystery or surprise to your relationship. III) Do something that kicks up your adrenaline or arousal. IV) Take a mini-vacation – just the two of you. V) Touch more often. VI) Play. Like Jack says, “This is a twelve rounder, and this is the third round, and you and I are gonna go outta here like Haley’s comet.” Well said, Jack!
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