How many times did you feel like someone is using you? It’s really sad to understand that the people you respect the most call you only to fulfill their needs.
But did you ever think about your happiness? Are these things transforming you to a doormat?
It is really great to do a favor and make someone happy, but if you are pleasing others needs by ignoring your own needs, then something’s wrong.
Scroll down to see the ways to stop being someone’s doormat and feel better.
How To Stop Being Someone’s Doormat?
1. PRACTICE SAYING ‘NO.’
People pleasers never want to say no in fear of losing or disappointing the other person. Again, this belief often stems from childhood when the parents reinforced compliance but reprimanded the child when he or she didn’t listen to authority. Regardless of what you’ve been raised to think, saying yes to everyone and everything will only leave you exhausted, stressed, and unfulfilled. If you use all your time to tend to the needs of others, when will you have time to cater to your own requirements? You won’t.
You matter just as much as other people around you, so don’t fall victim to self-sacrificing behavior just to avoid ruffling other people’s feathers. Notice how it feels to finally stand up for yourself, even if the other person seems annoyed or outraged at your response – you will likely feel a huge weight drop off your shoulders and even gain confidence from your newfound decisiveness. Agreeing to everything someone asks of you will leave you overworked, worn out, and full of resentment.
“No” doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone else’s wishes – it just means you value yourself and others enough to be honest about what you can and can’t handle.
2. REFLECT ON WHY YOU FEEL THE NEED TO PLEASE OTHERS.
Maybe you need to go deep within and get rid of old skeletons in your closet that still haunt you from your childhood. Only you can detach yourself from heavy history, so do what needs to get done in order to move on and live a balanced, healthy life. Realize that just because your parents raised you to act a certain way doesn’t mean you have to comply now.
While it can be difficult to discard heavily ingrained beliefs, taking that first step and reflecting on why you behave in certain ways will help you lift that heavy fog and see yourself clearly.
Remember that you determine your relationship with other people, so if you never stand up for yourself, they will assume that they can get whatever they want out of you at no cost. While this isn’t entirely your fault, you can prevent this from happening in the future by developing your self-worth and casting out your deep-rooted demons.
3. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.
Anytime someone asks you for something or wants your opinion, don’t blurt out an answer just to appease them. Actually let the words sink in and listen to the person thoroughly before you offer a response. If someone asks you for a commitment on the spot, tell them you will check your calendar and get back with them. This way, you can see if you really have time to meet their request or not.
In the same way, if someone wants your opinion about an important subject, say what you really think, not just what they want to hear. People will actually respect you more for your transparency rather than just robotically agreeing with their every thought.
You have a voice for a reason – use it to express your honest thoughts no matter what others may think. You don’t have to babysit other’s emotions; they must take ownership of their own thoughts and feelings.